The One with the Prowess

I had a quick talk with a younger family member of a good friend. She currently works for a BPO and has mentioned that as an agent, she does pretty well but her scorecards change so often that she gets so confused about what to follow and what to expect next. 

BPO personnel often think that they should always change it up. 

I figured I'd talk to her and find out more about what she wants. She opened up and told me that she wants to be a coach someday. I asked her what she's doing about it and she said, nonchalantly, that's fine. It's all politics. You can date an OM (Operations Manager) and next week become a supervisor. 

That really troubled the heck out of me. I was never the type to rub elbows intentionally. If I see them, I'll say hello, offer them a smoke or a cup of coffee (if we have some handy) and if I encounter them in a resto, I'd of course walk over and say hello. 

Losers wear a frown and smilers wear a crown! Booyah! 

I do a lot of sideline work, and special marketing and consulting projects tend to make you seem more popular than you are, especially if they're Chinese businessmen and they just want some marketing or campaign letters, newsletters or magazine ads. I bump into them in the doctor's office, near my old school, inside a mall boutique and yep, sometimes, while walking home from the nearby drugstore. So, yes, I do walk over, say hello, speak in their vernacular and tell them that I hope they contact me soon for more pictures or web templates or marketing pieces. But I figured, it's only because I'm selling myself (not myself literally!). And let's face it, in the project-contractual world, we don't have scorecards. We only have face value, a hard copy and a soft copy that can be replicated by 10,000 other Six Sigma, SDI and Industrial Manufacturing certified personnel in the field. 

Talking to her, this is when I remembered what I had written in my journal when I was younger. I was so pissed off. One of the high school classmates I had was "voted" an editor. Yes, the high school paper's editorial board was actually voted. They were not judged based on writing skills or knowledge of lay-outs or who's been in the group long, it was an election, which obviously turned out to be a major popularity contest. I had a diary then that would lock in front and I had the key with me at all times. Thanks to Ondoy (International Name: Ketsana), I was able to unearth the diary and I jammed the lock out, allowing me to review and read what I had written so long ago. 

I remember sitting by a tree in the school and writing about it while trying so hard not to cry.

It's never who you know, it's always who you are... Never mistake perception for personality, never assume power for prowess and never take pertinence for passion. 

I was 15, I was miffed and I can't understand why on earth would people choose someone popular and not someone who can do the job? Why does it matter who your clique is? Why can't you get a job or a position based on how efficiently you did? 

I looked at my younger friend across the table. I told her fine, rub elbows, but be sure you're competent enough cos people who can't simply won't. 

All photos are taken official from Stock Xchng. 

The One with the Dreary Tales Part 1

Thanks to those who voted on my side panel about what you want to read about. Because a few people asked for it, fine, fine, I'll give you a peek into my love life (or lack thereof). These will be random musing because, I am technically, not allowed to write about love since I don't feel that for anyone or anything at this point. 

Disclaimer: This is a post about love. Yes, love. How I see it now, how I used to see it and all that ballyhoo. If you're not the type to read about something this cheesy and loving, go ahead and skip through and just read this... Link

When I was a little girl, I was read fairy tales before I went to sleep. It was narrated how Cinderella, in her patience and grace, came to snag Prince Charming. I marveled at how Snow White's sheer beauty was enough to stop a hot guy in his tracks and kiss her, despite the creep factor (remember the Enchanted Forest?!) and 7 stocky dwarfs, because he simply can't resist. I was amazed at how Rapunzel's hope was enough to give her strength to wait for her Batman (and I call him Batman cos he used her hair as his utility belt). Finally, Beauty was so kind and loving to Beast, no matter how monstrous he was, that she was able to change him from jerk to McDreamy in a snap. 

They tend to live happily ever after. 

Those fairy tales made sense. It was a girl, a princess or a commoner, whose heart was golden and had purity, grace and honesty weaved into their characters. She always "meets" a prince, whether by accident, by luck or just plain fate. It was like it was written in their destinies. It was bewildering how they'd find their princes cos they lived in far away lands! Why would anyone want to gallop into the wilderness, only to find love?

Men have supposedly ridden into the sunset while dreaming of their fair maidens. 

So, maybe I'm not beautiful, pure and golden-hearted enough to warrant a man? Sometimes, I really think that way. I mean, it's not as if I have a committed and loving man by my side, eagerly awaiting until I come home to ask me for dinner or lunch. Sometimes, I wonder if it's also the reason why my first serious relationship didn't pan out. Was I not good enough, was I too much to handle, was I unfair or unjust? It's too much of an anxiety for me to even figure it out.

Was I the bad, rotten apple of his life? 

A good friend once told me that whatever it was that happened with me and the ex, it was better left to the past. Primarily because he won't have anything to do with me anyhow. If I died today, he probably won't even flinch because he already made his decision and if he ever says he cares, it's not true. He is only guilty when he reaches out and to "kill the guilt", he needs to know I'm alright and happy. Sometimes, I think what he says is true. He makes sense so much that it makes me wonder why I even try sometimes to make my ex feel comfortable about a friendship. The truth of the matter is, I think I may have feelings for him still. No one gets rid of that easily. If you loved someone for 5 years, believed you'd be married to that person and built rainbows and butterflies around a dream that involved the two of you, there's no way you can just wake up one morning and tell yourself, 'ahhh, it's over'. I admit, it still breaks my heart to know he has someone new, someone better perhaps, someone that he will take a bullet for, over me but I have to be happy for him, cos that person may be the key to his happiness.

All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the little princess' heart back together again... 

This made me believe that the fairy tale is over. The fairy tale that never began was over before I knew it. No unicorns, no dwarfs, no nymphs, no rainbows, no magic spells, no enchanted forests, no loving kisses and more importantly, no prince charming.

Another friend told me that "My prince charming has already been run over in a highway or freeway somewhere, along with his white horse..." That sucks. 

And when you think friends can console you, that just made it a little worse for me (no offense meant to my friends)... People think that after a break-up, you're supposed to enjoy and live life and party like crazy. I did that. I would be high on times when I was dancing, living it up, eating with friends, drinking like crazy and then when you come home, you crash. You remember. You get reminded of the tears and the apologies and you bawl in one corner of your room, hoping no one in your family can hear you and think to yourself, oh God, what kind of concealer and eye drop would I be using this time? What was so hard for me to do was to show them any sort of emotion. It was sad because I kept myself from crying in front of them. It wasn't their fault, nor was it something they imposed on me, but I felt like I couldn't put them through so much. They have been with me with every fight, every argument I've ever had with my ex. I felt like bringing them there, to a point of sheer destruction, being left alone, being left in the altar, being abandoned was just unfair. Friends were there, not knowing I had eye drops and concealer every time I'd leave my room, not knowing I cried every night, for 30 minutes in one corner of my room, praying to God to take me or take my pain away. I hid it from my family as well, because in their opinion, I was lucky. God protected me from a possible hurtful and painful experience.

No more of these... 

Fast forward almost a year since he first broke up with me, there are still feelings and I'm not going to lie about. The pain isn't as strong. God kept His end of the bargain cos He hasn't taken me yet. I won't wake up in the middle of the night crying and I won't come home baffling my cab driver cos I've been crying in the cab... I would be okay. I functioned well and I am still learning everyday. Every day, I take as a challenge. As I come home, I find something to do. I accept jobs for graphic design, I talk with friends, I watch TV, I read a book, I blog, I subscribe to silly feeds over the net, I do something... anything to keep my mind off him and what might have been. Does it help? A little. A little at a time. One bit at a time. I guess that's how you get back on your feet. You don't stand up after a fall, you slowly and gradually get back on your feet, cos the second tumble will hurt more.

Trying to recover from the pain isn't easy. 

Do I still love him? Yes. Do I do something to get him back? No. Do I want him back? I don't know. 

People come and go, that's what fairy tales fail to tell you. They teach you lessons, they show you what's right from wrong, and enables you to form an ideal in your head. It allows you to dream. It gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside and tells you to go for things. It never teaches you how to deal with a broken heart or how to cope when no man comes and sweeps you off your feet. It never teaches you what to do with pain or hurt or disappointment.

But it teaches you hope... and someday, my fairy tale will be told. I don't doubt it for one minute.

No photographers were harmed during the making of this post. All pictures are linked and obtained legally from Stock Xchng. 

The One with the Singaporean Breakfast

I have never been to Singapore. I've always wanted to try to get there alone - for the sheer need to see what the heck the fuss was about but I never tried. I've heard of clothing sales, how cheap Bath and Body Work is in that place and all other gadgets and electronic devices. I have heard of the great IT migration where all IT folks seem to want to leave the Philippines and move there for greener pastures. I have also heard how fashion, banking and finance seem to be taking off in that place. I guess this year, I'll have more reasons to go.

One of them is this quaint little place...

Ya Kun Kaya Toast - Since 1944!!! 

What is amazing about this place is how small but packed with deliciousness it is! I can't believe that toast can taste so damned appetizing!

So to demonstrate what a true-blue Singaporean breakfast is, I had Candy and Jessie bring me there. Candy was based in Singapore for some time as an Instructional Designer, while Jessie had taken several trips there for training. I just wanted to experience what coffee, tea and delicious things they had there...

Candy taking a bite of her Kaya toast. 

Jessie + Coffee = Common Sight 

So let me show you what's on their menu.

This is a full breakfast meal. 

Forget breakfast steaks, or hotdogs, chili or even bacon. It's thinly sliced bread with some oozing butter and Kaya toast. So what the heck is Kaya? It's coconut jam and some eggs. What makes it super special and aromatically great is the addition of pandan. It's not too sweet and too sticky so the taste is just perfect for breakfast. Kaya toast is simply slicing bread in half, butter on one side and Kaya on the other side and lightly toasting it on your oven toaster or a sandwich maker (think your panini maker now has use, eh?!).

The taste is just amazing paired with some soft-boiled, runny eggs. It takes some magic to recreate these eggs in your own kitchen. I tried once and I ended up with some hard-boiled eggs. I tried poaching some (ala Eggs Benedict) and failed miserably, cos I ended up with some Eggs Benedict instead. The real magic is in what you put in the eggs. Soy sauce, salt and pepper is given to you for you to mix and match to your taste. I tried it with the usual suspects - salt and pepper. Pouring some soy sauce in eggs seemed a little too odd for me.

Supposedly, to eat like a local, you're supposed to dip your Kaya toast on the runny eggs. I tried it and it was pretty fabulous. I ate it separately though. I guess I haven't imbibed the culture of Singapore just yet.

The counter where the server pours coffee at a height to "pull" the coffee. 

The coffee served was piping hot and super aromatic. I'm guessing that the consistency was different too, since the coffee was poured from a height of 3 feet or so (as far as I can estimate), supposedly making the flavors so much more powerful. I had tea latte which tasted so delicious and so yummy, I could have it everyday in lieu of coffee (did I just really say that?!)

Obviously, we can't have enough of this... 

Did I mention how much more delicious things can get? Kaya is available by the jar! So you can actually recreate this in your own kitchen!

The lesson of this story? Forget protein, sometimes carbs can make you super happy - and super full too!

Ya Kun Kaya is originally located in Singapore. You can check out their website here. The Ya Kun Kaya Toast outlet visited by *meg* is located in Robinson's Place, Manila.

Candy is a blogger just like me. She defines life and love on a regular basis. Check it out.
All pictures were taken using a Sony DSC Camera.

The One with the Break from Work

Have you ever had a work-day that was so productive that all you ever want to do when you head home is actually pig out? Well, sometimes, work can be overwhelming, and you deserve some comfort food. So here's our version of comfort food.

Teriyaki Boy at Jupiter 

Now with Low-Salt Alternatives! 

Jessie wanted some yogurt and I wanted some comfort food so badly. I wanted some ramen and some good nori-wrapped Tamago Sushi. I was hooked on that stuff.

Jessie had some Agedashi Tofu and that is some crispy-fried tofu bathed in some light soy sauce broth, topped with some benito flakes and daikon and of course, freshly-sliced Maguro sashimi, which is freshly caught yellowfin tuna. No Japanese meal is complete without raw fish!

Jessie's meal - Agedashi Tofu and some Maguro Sashimi

While Jessie went for the classics, I went for the stereotypical... I wanted some comfort food, cos I was feeling down and out from the long, long day. I had some seafood ramen. It could have been any seafood ramen, but they kind of make this one special. White noodles, dory fish, shrimp, squid balls and some hard-boiled eggs fill the bowl along with carrots and baby bok choy.

I went with some piping-hot ramen. It's noodle-licious! It's filled with veggies, some dory fish, squid balls and shrimp. You got to love some seafood ramen. 

I won't forget my Teriyaki Boy favorite of course, and it's this little concoction. It's some sweet omelette and some vinegared rice, covered in nori.

Some delicious Tamago sushi - definitely something to love. 

I realize that it's not my first time to post about Japan this week. Still praying for recovery for Japan and if it means anything to you all, no Japanese food would ever taste the same until you know that they people who's supposed to be enjoying it should be enjoying it in good health and safely, too.

Teriyaki Boy is all around the metro. Go ahead and click on their site and find a store near you.
Japan still needs help. CBS News was kind enough to sum up what needs to be done.

The One with the Thai Food

I have been mentioning that I have a love affair with food. Food never rejects you, doesn't call you fat or doesn't ever think you're undeserving of any love or comfort. Furthermore, food never judges you. So here's a fabulous treat for me as a foodie. 

My first serving of Thai food (ever) was at Som's Noodle House. It used to be a hole in the wall, literally. It was a virtual unknown until people started flocking to it by the multitudes to sample its authentic and delicious choices for food. Check out Jane Chua's review of the place in 2008. 

But now, it's turned into something light and airy with the fresh aroma of Thai spices filling the air. It's almost amazing how the food is cooked and delivered right to your table and how spectacularly it could assail your senses. 

Obviously, I was with my favorite foodies (no love affairs with food, cos food and I have a monogamous relationship...) Jessie and Candy were actually the first ones to take me here and made me appreciate the delicious curiosity of Thai cuisine. We started with the usual, some fried food to balance the crunch and the taste of what was to come next. It's some shrimp cakes and it was fried to perfection. 

We had to start with some appetizers, obviously. Check out the shrimp cakes. It's actually a viand on its own! 

My favorite food enthusiasts. Candy with some fried rice. 

No Thai food adventure would be complete with the sought-after Tom Yum. It's an experience having a bowl of this. It's tart and sweet with a slight tinge of heat and some well-married flavors like shrimp and basil. I couldn't imagine it being compared to the Filipino Sinigang, but it's a close second. 

Tom Yum soup with shrimp, basil, a little lemongrass and a lot of other ingredients I can't quite decipher. It's a good reason to try Thai food.

It's actually a good soup to try with an entire meal. 

We wanted to try something common and yet something with a Thai twist. It's a perfect combo of their Chicken Fried Rice (amazingly cooked with a lot of green spring onions, real huge chicken pieces with some curry and cumin action) and their Green Beef Curry (loaded with beef strips and rich, thick and creamy green curry sauce). 

See the huge lump of tomato there? That's just blanched to perfection! Along with the huge strips of chicken in this dish, you won't want to order a viand! 

That's Green Curry - sauce is rich, thick, creamy and super amazingly good. I could eat it for days! It's got baby eggplants sliced thinly, some red and green bell pepper and some coriander. It's just an amazing treat! 

All of this was capped off with their delicious iced milk tea. Make sure to ask for it.

If you're in the Alger St or Rockwell vicinity, check out Som's Noodle House. They don't have a website just yet but they do have a number if you ever need directions. 

Jane Chua is a blogger and enjoys fashion, food and fun. Check her out in her fashion and fun moments Between Bites. 

Candy herself is a blogger and a food enthusiast but she loves learning more. Check it out as she Defines life, love and other things. 

The One with the Disaster

Disclaimer: This is not a means to participate in a Twitter frenzy of praying for and asking for donations for Japan. It's my small way of making people aware of the disasters around them. This is a grossly serious post and it chronicles my thoughts and feelings about what happened in the midst of an 8.9 magnitude earthquake in a country so powerful economically that it could stand to weather almost anything. 

It was an ordinary day in Japan. What could have been another day in an office, or the field was suddenly turned upside-down when the country was hit by an 8.9 magnitude earthquake, centered near the east coast of Japan. The epicenter was in the Miyagi Prefecture, which meant it affected the densely-populated business city of Tokyo. Fishermen were in their busiest deep in the big blue Pacific, trying to get their catch at around 2PM in the afternoon when the quake happened, which means most of them were swept away by huge tsunami that crashed into the inland, badgering the already shaken and stirred people of Japan. 

That's a picture of a man looking at the rubbish in his town, after the quake and the tsunami devastated the city. 

Debris of fallen buildings and other structures amidst sludge and water. 

Massive destruction along public highways, the bridge shown here almost uprooted from the ground. 

Tsunami waves spilling over the streets of Tokyo

And in case you've been desensitized by Hollywood movies about the end of the world, and you think that this is one rich country that need no help, think again.

A female survivor crying in the Iwake prefecture northeast Japan. 

A man cries as he sees a board with names of survivors at a shelter in a village ruined by the earthquake. 

Isolated people in Sendai. 

And in case it hasn't hit you yet, here's a video of the massive punishing power of water over one powerful country. 

Disasters come and tear people's lives apart everyday of their lives. Some have it worse than others. To point to the different disasters in Asia, in February of 2011, there was heavy flooding in Sri Lanka that killed at least 11 people. In the same month, New Zealand experienced a 6.3 magnitude earthquake that caused 166 fatalities. Disasters come at the most unexpected times, times when you just had a conference call or maybe a quick meal, maybe even in the most ungodly hour at night. How prepared are you to lose everything you have? And following that thought, how prepared are you to fight for what you have? 

I was in a cab, ready to head home when I heard the news. Earlier, I was under the impression that the day was just so long and I can't wait to hit the sack. I even thought of listening to my newly-downloaded songs on my iPod before sleeping. It was a normal day. Had it happened to this city - my city - would I have survived? Probably not. 

• While Manila might have been informed of an impending tsunami of massive proportions, poorly-designed streets would have damned me right then and there, in the cab, along with my poor driver, trapping me in water, debris and an abysmal combination of slurry and full-force waves. The locked windows and doors would automatically cave me in, crushing my face, arms and perhaps even my jugular, cutting off any circulation. 
• If the tsunami won't kill me, it would be the fire that would probably start from the massive onslaught of debris and collapsed structures into closely-wound gasoline stations in and around the metro, not to mention the poorly-maintained states of most cabs nowadays. 
• Edifices would have crumbled in minutes, thanks to a force so strong and huge that would crack the heaviest metals and concrete megastructures in the city. The street asphalt would crack and become brittle and might even cave from the enormous pressure of the water and the heavy cars, trucks and other vehicles. A structure could fall right atop my cab and would crush me in seconds, cutting off any type of function in my body. 
• Heavy electric wirings could actually fall right into the water or could be snapped by the massive water, making the water excessively charged. Mix that with metal cars and you have a fried (or baked) me.

I know, that is a morbidly disgusting thought, but I'm wired to think of the worst-case scenario and what would I do. I realized that the best thing to do in the event of an actual disaster is to actually scramble for the highest ground possible. In an earthquake, a tsunami and even a flash flood, my best bet for survival is actually, amazingly climbing the highest peak. Now, getting there could actually kill me too.

Life is a series of paths strewn with thorns and sometimes, an occasional bed of roses. If this happened to you today, would you be prepared to face the consequences of your actions? Would you have lived the life you wanted to live? Would you have fought for everything you've got? Would you be swept away and leave your fate to chance? 

Everyone has a fight in them, everything has a reason and looking at how fragile life is, find the why and endure almost any how. 

All pictures are obtained legally and with links to the original post from Yahoo News. Information obtained from CNN and The Huffington Post. 

Be familiar and be aware of the things happening around you. Asian Disaster Reduction Center (ADRC) has projects geared towards preparing for natural calamities and disasters in and around Asia. 

Help the survivors and the relief operations in Japan and Time was kind enough to summarize it. Check out their newsfeed on how you can help Japanese earthquake and tsunami survivors. 

The One with the Indian Food

Another point of this blog is not to simply take care of me, but to take care of my primary love (not a boy), which is food.

This is long overdue, but by God, I promise I will go back to that place and adore the food that graces my plate. The name of the restaurant is Queens Crystal Garden. It's along Jupiter Avenue in Makati and they're open for lunch. So if you want to grab some friends, head on to that place and pick your food from their wide menu! It's amazing!

Just entering the place, you know it's fit for a Bollywood queen! The interior had high ceilings and you can't imagine how much I had to crane my neck just to see the whole area. It's like a 5-star hotel sprawled and adorned with velour and velvet all over!

Captivating furniture to help you feel like a queen. That's actual hardwood seating right there, next to a royal red table cloth contrasted against yellow velvet. It's almost royal! 

The wall is adorned with pictures of Ganesha. The pictures seem etched on thin paper (not sure if it's Papyrus). 

That's a bronze representation of Ganesha, once more, with some of the awards they've won and a little shrine to India. 

Because you eat with your eyes first, and we were freaking hungry after the slightly long and hot walk to Queens, we wanted meat and lots of yummy Indian bread. Guess what we had first?

In case it's not obvious, it's beer we're drinking. In the middle of the afternoon, in high bustling heat. Candy seemed fine. 

There's the handsome Pareng Ken with his shades on, posing next to my Super Dry. 

After the niceties over some ice cold delicious beer, we had to have our sampler so, on to our love for breads! There were so much to choose from and so little time cos we were so hungry. It's a good thing that Ken decided to get the Pudina Naan, which is unleavened flat bread made of potato, some yoghurt and dry yeast and it gets the word Pudina because of the mint (yup, guys, mint's not just for Mojitos!!!). Candy and I opted for the Roti which is also unleavened bread made of wheat and a lot of unclarified butter.

Candy's tearing into a Roti Channai. It's basically unleavened bread, with a little bit of sweetness embedded in it. It's perfect dipped in hot delicious curry. The green bread you see in the far right (top) is Pudina Naan (which literaly translates to Mint Naan Bread). 

This is a heaping pot of mutton curry which is so rich and so good and so delicious. It makes my mouth water just thinking about the flavors and the delicious, amazing feat it took the cook to make it so damned rich and creamy! 

Of course, no meal for me is complete without meat. I'm a little Western, I work like a sailor and I eat like a trucker so I got to have my protein. The waiter was kind enough to suggest a sampler. The sampler contained everything you'd ever dream of in Indian cuisine. It featured fish, chicken, mutton and delicious shrimp. It's almost orgasmic!

The fish was cooked to perfection. It was so creamy and flaky and you literally can use your fork and flake it out. The green coating in the fish was minty, fresh and it had the right amount of citrus in it. The mutton was thick and chewy and so meaty. Everything about the mutton was just accentuated right with the mint chutney, it was almost perfection. The shrimp was lightly seared in a pan and the flavor was just so light and so perfect. It made the whole experience almost tie together perfectly cos it complemented everything else in the plate. My personal favorite was the reddish curry-dipped chicken. It was fried lightly but the batter made the chili so much hotter. The flavor actually bursts in your mouth! And the mint chutney on this was just wowza - I can't stop eating and you can ask Ken and Candy, I think I was wiping the last drops of the chutney with the last piece of chicken I got.

The mint chutney (far right, green dipping sauce) made everything so much more delicious than it could ever be! I'm so glad Ken asked for it! 

The last piece of the puzzle was a Paneer dish. Paneer is actually unaged, acid-set cheese. It was lightly basted with a few mint leaves and some vegetables and I think it just capped off the perfect lunch.

Food I eat rarely? Not anymore. Indian food is one of my favorites now. Ajeet, a friend told me to get Masala Dosa the next time, which I will. I promise to have more pictures of the delicious food next time!

All pictures were taken with a Sony DSC series camera. 
Apart from making sure that his friends try Masala Dosa, Ajeet is also a great and amazing blog author. Don't read his blog and die. :) 
Candy is a blogger herself and she loves Indian food just like I do. Read about her food trips and her riveting stories on Define. 
Queen's Crystal Garden is on 146-B Jupiter Street, Makati. Check out their official webby here. 

The One with the Quick Note

You, yes you, thanks for reading my blog. In fact, thanks to you, we're now moving on from just a measly number of views then to 2000 views now!

My attempt at creating my own graphics. Applause anyone? :) 

Thanks so much for clicking the links and also for following me via Google Connect. All the love in the world!

The One with the Depression

So here I am, at home, very sick and wondering why on earth did I go online. Oh right, I was supposed to work on something too. I figured since I'm breaking the cardinal rule of bed rest (which is being in my chair and not in bed), I might as well tell you a little bit of what I've been feeling.

No pill made me feel better. And vitamin C - I freakin' miss you!

Day 1: Friday 
Temperature: 38.5 - 39 degrees Celsius
Appetite: So-so. I needed to eat. 
Tonsils: Not so inflamed. Kinda scratchy. 
Demeanor: Meh, I needed to sleep. 
I have been sick for almost a week now - wait, it has been a week. I was in bed when I started having chills and severe body pain. If you want to torture me, I can endure almost any kind of pain - I have had migraines since I was a kid, my ovary has 16 or so different cysts that never seem to leave me be, I have had toothaches and root canals and I've had an accident that caused me to have a lopsided nose (think Owen Wilson, only sexier...), but never ever ever give me a sick headache with body pains cos that would cause my head to go spinning around so badly. Also, a bad flu makes my lymph nodes swell so badly that I actually feel them fighting the infection. It wasn't bad that I had a fever, what was bad was what I was feeling - the fever made me feel so weak and almost dying (how dramatic).

Not as pretty when I'm sick, but you get the idea! 

This is how I know that if I ever contract HIV, I will die on the spot, cos my lymph nodes would probably burst out of my neck and will kill me in that very instant.

Day 2-3: Saturday - Sunday 
Temperature: 39-39.5 degrees Celsius
Appetite: No appetite at all...
Tonsils: Inflamed as heck. Can't talk too much. I keep gargling salt water and suckling on lozenges. I was almost 100% positive that it was strep throat.
Demeanor: Irritable as hell! Coughing didn't help. Plus my back felt tense and pained. 
It's a "kill me now" moment. I felt so damned weak. I didn't realize that the AC was on, or that the fan was on, I was cold all the time. I stayed in bed the whole 24 hours of each day and I wouldn't even want to eat. I hated any food. Nothing tasted like anything it should. I had chicken which tasted like cardboard and rice that tasted like gooey cardboard. I had beef that tasted like corrugated paper with a little soy sauce in it. My dad is an excellent cook and he puts of soul and love into each dish but man, that weekend was so bad that if you gave me super fiery Indian food, I'd probably say that their Fontina has gone bad.

Looks appetizing, right?! Didn't do anything for me. 

I hated the fact that I didn't have anyone to come to for some TLC. I have to admit that family is there all the time. My mom would check my temperature and would SMS me even when she's in the market. She got me bananas to munch on. She even got me a bottle of Gatorade cos I wouldn't eat anything. But I was really hoping for someone to kind of cuddle with me. I know it's gross and disgusting to be bundled in a comforter with someone snotty and probably has germs all around her but it would have been amazing to have a hug from someone that cared enough.

Day 4: Monday 
Temperature: Back to kinda normal - 38 degrees Celsius 
Appetite: Not much appetite, tried to eat anyhow. 
Tonsils: Gargling was a good idea. It made me feel a little better. I really thought I could come to work then. 
Demeanor: Hopeful that I was gonna be well enough to get to work. 
What the heck was happening?! I wasn't normal anymore. I felt weak but I felt so hopeful and I was wishing for nothing more than normalcy - the office, the carpeted floors, my huge screen, my modules... Alas, I was wrong. Come night time, my fever spiked up and I suddenly had no energy to go anywhere. I sent an SMS to my boss, Chase and told him I'll go to the doctor.

Got an expensive doctor, BTW. General and Cancer Surgeon - Dr. Raymond Natividad. Apparently, the dude had a "line" even though you've called in and begged for a 10.30 appointment. The dude is a genius! I think my HMO is a little crazy cos they automatically associated me with cancer. (My aunt had non-Hodgekin's Lymphoma, go figure.)

Day 5: Tuesday 
Temperature: 38.5 degrees Celsius 
Appetite: None at all. 
Tonsils: Swollen as heck. Exudative, apparently. 
Demeanor: Pissed off at the laboratory people for making me wait so long for a blood extraction. 
Dr. Natividad saw me for the first time and did all the tests - he tested for pneumonia and bronchitis and decided right then and there that I didn't have cancer. He even ordered a blood count and a urinalysis, was worried about a rash that I had in my tummy area (cos that's a side effect) and my eyes. I love this doctor, no matter how exorbitant the fees are. He made me purchase the most expensive antibiotics (and to think I'm a pharmacist!) and made me promise that I'll stay in bed for the rest of week.

I went to work that night to file for my leave and to finish some crazy last minute meetings with my SMEs before deploying a project. I know, I know, I was crazy to come to work. After that long day, I slept like a baby! I was told to expect worse high-grade fevers cos he diagnosed me with Acute Exudative Tonsillopharyngitis. I was supposedly non-contagious until I start making out with someone (again, a single girl joke - why won't people let up?!).

Men think that unless I look like this, I won't do. 

I came to work and I'm glad I saw my friends there. Ivan, Candy, Jessie - I love just being surrounded by people that I've come to respect and love, thanks to work. And also, you know, no matter how feverish I was, I didn't feel the need to complain about it, cos it's natural. I attended all my meetings and thankfully, Sonja approved my leave. I've been on bed rest since Wednesday evening til now.

Now
Temperature: 38 degrees Celsius 
Appetite: A little, I had chicken. Woohoo!
Tonsils: Better now, I feel a little more comfy swallowing and relaxing my neck. 
Demeanor: Chill. :) 
I'm sick still. On my last day of bed rest, I hope the worst is over cos I feel a little bit better. My back is still tense but I'm sweating so that's a good sign, right? I'm hoping that when I get sick again this year, it won't be this bad.

I'm not going to lie. All throughout those days when I needed bed rest, all I could think about was why was it happening to me. I'm a good person, I am a real team player, I actually work my ass off and I'm trying hard to make a difference in my world. Last year, when my life was suddenly and abruptly turned upside down by a personal tragedy, I figured God must not send out lightning to strike twice. Like I always tell people, it's bad enough when the rest of the world sees you and disappoints you. It's harder when you're the one that disappoints yourself. I guess it depresses me that while the world world may have turned its back on me, my body - my own body would actually betray me as badly.

I'm going to be the best version of me. No more slacking off. I'm not even doing this to be sexy. I'm doing this for me!

This has taught me so much about what I need to do from now on. I'm not young anymore. Back then, I won't exercise and I would feel fine. Now, I crave for vegetables (I guess it's my body's way of saying I need more nutrients than the fried tennis shoe I eat for dinner everyday!) and I crave for fruits and I actually bought an elliptical trainer (Thanks to my brother from another mother, Ivan). The firm and real realization? I need to take care of me, cos no one else will. The dreams of actually having someone cuddle with you while you're sick - not gonna happen. It's more of me now and part of enjoying me, is actually making me healthy and good.

No photographers were harmed intellectually during the making of this post. All photos were obtained legally from Stock Xchng. 
By the way, Candy's disappointed. Read a little bit about the 5 Levels of Disappointment on the Define blog.