The One with the Online Dating Game

A friend asked me the other day what I want the man I will end up with to have. I looked at him and realized that I had no real answer. My entire team (God bless their hearts) have been hard-up in finding me a man to be with. For whatever reason, I don't quite know yet, but I'm thinking that they think I need to be "happy" and finding the love of my life will ease me into a more relaxed state of mind. 

Because nobody wants to work with a b*tch, perhaps? 

Apart from the fact that I have learned almost nothing about dating in the past hiatus I have given myself, because of schoolwork, office work and some other work I have been doing (Ahahaha! This mainly means sleeping and getting a fatter a$$!), I have learned that waiting is almost inevitable in my life. 

There are days of absolute horror and I will be honest about it. There are days when you know for certain that there is no one out there - no one can ever make you feel good about yourself and you become resigned to the current status quo - that love is dead and there is only you to fend for your own sanity in this cruel, malicious and vile world. Then there are days when you try. 

In fact, I tried. I joined a dating site. 

Queue romantic music here... 

(Total shameless disclaimer: I consider everyone a candidate, much like I'm the boss and you're applying for a job. And yes, I know I don't really have the right to judge people based solely on my own personal yardsticks but I presume you know I'm single, and looking for the right guy, so for a lack of a better, polictically-correct term, I will heretofore, call them candidates. And if you don't like it, you can go check out other feel-good single-girl, non-sarcastic blog posts...) 

Candidate Number 1: The Grammarian

Just for purposes of a visual representation. He's totally not this guy, but well, he didn't look like this guy either. 

Let's call him Emmett, because the name sounds so "safe" and almost noble, like a teacher. I met Emmett online and we were an instant hit. I loved the way he intelligently formed words and sent them to me with almost minimal effort. The dating site had a chat function so we were chatting immediately. We then moved on to emailing, then to SMS, then Facebook, then more and more and more SMS. What was so amazing about it was that I didn't hide anything. It's not like I can hide ALL my pictures on Facebook... and he mentioned how cute I was (despite the pictures of my heavy-set frame crowding an entire picture...) Everyday was so amazingly happy with Emmett, because he was just a joy to talk with. If I can print a transcript of our conversations, it was fluid, happy, light and for some reason, even in the advent of SMS language, we both made sure that our messages to and from were of impeccable grammar. I even joked about it... I said that impeccable grammar turns me on (cos Lord knows mine isn't, let not my previous employers in the English school find this out). Everything about Emmett was perfect - perfect on paper, perfect in messages, he had this aura about him that I found to be so noble and sweet. He was after all, a teacher (for purposes of this blog, no one will know what he really is). Until one day, the messages stopped. No more emails, chats, his Facebook account is still open and we're still friends, but his timeline seemed to have more "chicks" than well, the other kind. I sleuth around some more and realized that his Facebook account is a collection of all these beautiful women. Some younger than me, some older, some of the same age, some of the sexy type, others looking slightly average, others looking just like me. I messaged him one last time (cos you know, I don't really have an ounce of dignity left... and yes, yes, I thought we had a real connection) and nada. 

I want to say I was depressed and life stopped. Of course, it didn't. I realized Emmett had a connection with all these women. Emmett is the serial adder on Facebook who messages you, makes you feel great about yourself and then targets the next hottie he fixates on, and that's fine. That's his thing and no one really has the right to say whether it's right or wrong. It's just that the last message we exchanged was about him and how he had problems as a child and he's overcome it. Imagine knowing that much about a person yet he doesn't seem to want to know any more about you or share more about himself. Now I know for a fact that some people may have a connection with you but may not necessarily find it to be enough to formally date you. 

It took 2 weeks for me to finally decide to close this one out. I was not really shocked, it's just that normally, guys who are shallow leave you for your looks, guys who are deeper leave you because they think you're shallow, now how am I going to classify this guy? Maybe my grammar wasn't impeccable? Did I say something wrong? Did I have that one picture on Facebook that he totally can't stand? Did I push too hard? Did I say too much? Did I say too little? I guess we'll never know. 

Candidate Number 2: The Sexy Foreigner 

He sort of looks like this guy. Only you know, bigger and stronger.  :) Enjoy ladies. Lolz. 

So around the time that Emmett "came to his senses", this guy was hanging around. Let's call him Mac, short for Machiavelli. A handsome and sensual man that has come to haunt my senses and made me feel NOT like a lady. Before you jump into any weird conclusions, he is a candidate, ergo, nothing happened. For some weird reason, any Prince Charming I meet online turns out to be a real mirage. 

Mac is a mixed-breed. His father is Middle Eastern, with a mix of Greek and a little of Filipino. He speaks languages too exotic to believe. He owns his own business. He has a kick-ass car. He has his own ways and means to woo anyone he meets. He met me online, and this is because I find him too irresistible, not because of a connection, I ended up giving him my number. The funny thing is when he added me on Facebook, he saw so many mutual friends. Guess what? Mac knows my friends and my friends know Mac. 

I feel like a cougar when I speak with him because he's only 28, but obviously way more accomplished than me. Even friends who know him say that he is quite the Prince. I obviously didn't want to let on that I am thinking of dating him. I just casually asked, and said I met him somewhere. So messages came EVERY DAY for almost 2 months. Not particularly sweet messages but very consistently, he would SMS or email or something... Just to make me feel his presence I guess. Keep in mind that I had a deeper, more meaningful connection with Emmett, and I didn't really mind just replying to Mac. He had a casual way about him. Cool. Calm. Very collected... Almost nonchalant. No drama. When Emmett stopped talking to me, I realized it was time to focus on Mac. 

Focusing on Mac meant one thing - be sexy. And when I say "be sexy", I don't mean be physically sexy. Keep in mind that on Facebook, there was nothing I hid. I wanted to know if the shallowness will kick in anytime soon, and yet Mac still hung on. So being sexy meant actually replying to some of the sexy things he would tell me on SMS or email. Did I mean everything I said, uhm, maybe? But I was more curious about what he was thinking of rather than what he was saying. 

For two straight months, we were sort of into each other. There are days when he would say that he needs me and there are days when I would say I need him. Then there are days when we are both quiet because work got in the way, or for me, schoolwork too. But never was there a day that messages didn't come - sometimes, it's a "good morning" or a "had lunch" SMS, but messages came. There are times when schedule didn't allow for us to see each other because he travels a lot and there are days when we were just simply lucky. 

So before Valentines' Day, we had a lucky streak. He had some time off for lunch and my schedule allowed for us to actually have lunch - not just a smoke break or a quick line up at Starbucks and get some coffee break. He talked about his ex and how he was really hurt when she left. He talked about his work. He talked about the stress and how he's sorry that he wasn't able to spend more time with me. Then the "talk" came. Unluckily, not from me. It was an invitation for a weekend together - which technically is a night together, I realized. It honestly felt very awkward. Don't get me wrong, it felt amazing but it felt awkward. Maybe in my mind, I was still looking for the connection - the spark, the fireworks, everything... At the back of my mind, I was mentally computing times and dates, like what's to happen if he's overseas and I'm here, alone and I need to talk to him? What happens when we want to get serious? Should we tell our friends? Are we open to telling people about us? What about the age difference? I'm older and surely that's something his parents would say something about it, or worse, his friends. Are we now exclusively dating? Am I now a girlfriend? What's going on? And so I asked, as casually and as composed as I should be... "What happens after we spend that time together?" to which he replied "We'll see...". 

I'm sure he read what's on my mind. I looked awkward. I looked scared. And when he was delivering that line, he also looked awkward and scared, maybe a little bit more than I was. 

I'm not going to bore you with the next few days and what had transpired next. The main point is, sometimes, people aren't ready. I found a consistent, handsome and wonderful Prince that wasn't quite ready to move on yet. Scary part is, I realized I wasn't ready too. All the talking and the messaging and the meet-ups and the "I'm into you" moments were born of sheer fear that I will be alone for the rest of my life. 

Maybe, just maybe, the online dating game isn't for me.


All pictures were taken from Stock Xchng, my leading provider of stock photos.

The One with the Gray Flannel Life

You're working a 9 to 5 job and you're haplessly scouring crowds for the next available cab. The influx of people can be likened to a tsunami - the wave of gray, blue and brown tops all around you drown out your white shirt. Rush hour traffic is pouring in and you just can't, for the life of you, understand why the hell the city is populated with so many people. You now wonder where the hell these people are coming from and just irritatingly think - where the heck do you guys work - only cos you don't remember having that much colleagues or people in your building. 

This is New York and this is kind of like how a Manila traffic cam looks like as you cruise along EDSA.

I work in Makati, the most densely-populated business hub/industrial zone/BPO central/nightlife and lifestyle domicile/residential city in the entire Metro Manila. If you've ever been here, there is no heck way you would want to live here. Maybe because of the proximity to work, but other than that, the traffic is infernal, the queue to any type of food service is eternal and the heat (thanks to the thousands of people taking the train with you, or ribbing you to get the next available cab) has no interval (I had to rhyme there...). 

GT Tower in Makati. Just a few blocks away from virtually any other building. 

Forget finding some common ground with the rest of the business populace. Every day is a rat race - it's a long-enduring marathon to the office, followed by a bike ride uphill and downhill to your boss' heart (and if you're fortunate enough to have multiple bosses to please, your bosses' hearts and sometimes, even liver and lungs - think alcohol and ciggies) and a long brisk walk to the end of the day, to which the endurance marathon begins again as you do the diurnal exodus to your respective city. 

Some people prefer the fastest way out from the business hub every day. I'd rather ride a cab than get ribbed, suffer microfractures on my back and shoulder bones and maybe an occasional bruise here and there. Why there was this one time that my shirt lost a button amidst the chaos in the train. 

A few months ago, I had the choice of trading my offbeat, colorful, chunky clothes for a gray flannel suit. I won't say where or how or why, but I was given the opportunity to join a leading financial institution. I did my part - filling out forms, long interviews, having time snatched away from you in a long and winding waiting room/lounge for applicants as you listen to their company anthem over and over and over and over and over (and over and over and over again until you want to slash your wrists off using the blunt side of your phone or maybe using the twine used to sew your purse). They offered a wonderful remuneration package... a car loan, a good salary, bonuses, other packages that other companies (BPOs to be exact) can't provide. The catch is working from 9 to 5 and maybe even beyond that. 

Obviously, I'm not this hot. She's wearing the gray flannel suit much better than me. 

I wasn't ready to give up my freedom. Call it my last hurrah or my child-like impulses or the need to have fun in my job, but it dawned on me that I wasn't ready nor wanting the gray flannel life. It was an associate manager position and their employees have stayed with them for years, some even counting decades of sheer dedicated and disciplined work. I was going to handle a team, and report to a director of sorts and yet my heart was sinking. I felt it in the pit of my stomach. I politely asked to think about it and decided against all rational and logical thought that I should reconsider my current position. 

Not that ready to be chained to hardcore corporate just yet...

I want a team that's dynamic, that's fervent and teeming with energy. I want work that changes as times change. I want marketing and communication and learning and training and passion - yes, passion in my work. Passion in the written word, passion in letting someone learn from you and learning something from someone. Engaging someone. Involving someone. Firing-up their senses and stabilizing culture and intent. Training is my passion and to be confined or boxed in a boundary was just too much for me. I foresaw myself having to ask for approval per protocol I was going to implement. I saw myself barking against a wall of corporate suits that won't listen to a word I say because their company has simply existed long before my parents were even born and will probably exist long after I'm gone. I guess that is what I'm against, corporate red-tape that would otherwise kill my mojo. 

Am I regretting my decision, that's why I'm writing about this experience? Not really. I realized I'm not a purist. I am not someone direly in need of a grown-up, mature job. I sincerely appreciate the hustle and bustle of a corporate jungle in the guise of a playground. 

All pictures were taken from Stock Xchng. 

The One with the New Year

I'm born and bred Filipino but my blood is still slightly of the Chinese descent. I would always tell people that I'm a non-practicing Chinese. But when the opportunity to visit Chinatown on Lunar New Year came to me, I grabbed it by its horns. 

No city trip is complete without sampling its church. I know for a fact that in art class, we were all asked to take a trip down old Manila and simply marvel at the architecture, the facade and the intricate art that the church has to offer. There's so much about a church that tells you about the community. 

San Lorenzo Ruiz Church in Downtown Binondo

A church shows solidarity. It links tradition to community and sets the tone for the community. And entering the church, it was airy and light. There were sculptures of saints and intricate columns everywhere but what I loved were the paintings on the wall and the archs of the dome. 

Nice art piece on the wall. Nope, I didn't lie down to take this shot. 

After which, we walked from street to street, admiring the view, the people and the customs. 

Balloons being sold by the side street, covering the huge banner that says "Happy New Year" in Chinese. 

Colored chicks sold by the side street of Ongpin. 

History is rich in this part of town. There's almost too much history that we don't really know where to start. What's amazing about it is there are tons of people walking around, doing as we did - soaking up the heritage and the culture that is Binondo, while everyone eyes the dragon dances. 

Kid in a Cheong Sam

Charms and Chinese amulets

More charms and Buddha figurines. 

Part of that rich heritage is people dressing in red every Lunar New Year. Amazingly, we saw families and even random by-passers in red. 

Red was the color of the day. 

Check it out, one whole family wearing red! Nice! 

So apart from this, we had dragons dancing everywhere! And if you don't believe me, check out the pictures! 

That's a golden dragon, dancing outside President Restaurant. 

Red dragon reaching for a firework atop the building ledge. 

Pink dragon walking along the Ongpin side streets.

A big yellow dragon follows the pink one. 

More of the golden dragon we saw from President. 

Yes, non-practicing Chinese but absolutely appreciating the heritage. Happy Lunar New Year, everyone! 

All pics were taken with a Sony DSC Cam. 
No dragons were harmed during the making of this post. 

The One with the Portugese Restaurant

I originally started this blog to be a little bit more adventurous about food. I have been finicky and picky about food ever since I was a little girl. I would choose not to eat at certain places when I feel that it's too commercial (cos come on, who likes to eat fried breading when you're supposed to be eating chicken, right?). Amazingly, I found a restaurant right outside my office that offered great food. 

I'm someone that likes great experiences. I honestly don't mind spending for food if it means great company, amazing beverages and best of all, it's something I won't see off a 24-hour convenience store. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some entitled person that would only eat at the more expensive restos. I would gladly eat at a hole-in-the-wall place if it could offer me something good.  

Fast food burgers are fun only when you don't have time to enjoy yourself. 

I remember, while working for Merlin, I would eat burgers every single day. Why? Cos it's convenient. McDonald's was a 5-minute walk away. I would leave the burger joint with a whopping chicken sandwich (chicken fillet deep-fried to artery clogging goodness, dripping with mayo), large fries (dripping in bad cholesterol) and a huge Coke light (to which the lady in the counter would always give me Coke). It was almost too easy and too convenient to think of food as a way to get by the day and to give you a spurt of energy that you need to train someone, or to come up with a confounding 3-page report of which agent has taken what course or to compute for the ROI of getting people into some 100,000Php training in Ateneo. It's so easy to not think of yourself as a person when your work gets the better of you. Moreover, it's easy to always think you're invincible to artery-clogging elements in food when you're not really thinking of yourself to begin with. 

Now, I kind of know better. Working for StarTek, I'm glad I found people who appreciate good food like I do and tend to think that McDonald's and/or Jollibee would give us heart attack on a bun soon enough. I came in early to work one day and glad I asked a very hungry Belle to eat with me. 

The strip along Jupiter is peppered with date places. It's odd to ask a friend (or a couple of friends) to head into one of those restaurants and sample their best sellers, or to ask for wine and fish or steak. I have always had that mindset - that restaurants tend to be for couples and fast food is for singles. So, I'm pretty glad that people around me don't tend to be as narrow-minded as me. 

It's this nice place called O'sonho in Jupiter. It's got amazing food about and it's a Portugese fusion resto-bar that is open until 11PM (we know cos we stopped by at 10.30PM and it seems like they're about to close). The great thing I can tell you about it is the good service we got from the people. It seems almost too good to be true. 

O'sonho's Peppermint Fishbowl Iced Tea - great for sharing. That's Belle with the bowl. I was half-expecting fish, but hey... That would be a little bit freaky. 

Salmon croquettes as starters 

That's some dory fish fillet swimming in some great saffron sauce. Can someone say yum?! 

They have Peri Peri chicken which swims in some saffron sauce too, with some rosemary rice. I also got to sample some Spinach salad that was cooked to perfection.

It's easy to settle for everyday meals when you're single. I guess it's easy to settle for something when you're single, period. But sometimes, life has a way to let you experience the best in life, with or without anyone. So what are you waiting for? Drive your car to the nearest "date place" you can think of and sample a dish. Trust me, a love affair with yourself is better than no love affair at all.

All pictures of the food (and Belle) were taken with a NokiaE72. The only business phone which I will invest in. 
The burger picture was legally obtained from Stock Xchng. 
Belle is an LMS Administrator who has worked for StarTek for over a couple of years now. Belle has promised me that she will take me on more culinary adventures. 

The One with the Overrated Valentines

Ever wonder why every Valentine's Day is peppered with hearts and soft, sweet songs, with red petals everywhere and yup, cupids? 

Statue of cupid, thinking about who to shoot next. 

St. Valentine (yup, the guy that Valentines's Day was named after) was actually a Roman Priest. He's not some cupid with a bow, ready to shoot you at a chance. He's actually someone that performed weddings for Christians at the time that Claudius II (Claudius the Goth) was in power. Since aiding Christians were illegal and punishable by imprisonment, soldiers took Valentinus. He was asked to renounce his faith and he refused. He was beheaded for his faith and martyred in 262 AD. He became the Patron Saint of "affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people,so amazingly, even epileptics and gals with fainting spells ought to be celebrating.

Oh dear San Valentinus! 

The amazing thing about it is people are cashing in on it. Hallmark with the expensive eCards with customizable music, flower shops which send you dozens of emails days before the day itself, restaurants, heck even condom companies. Is it me or have we lost our feel for actually celebrating love and have settled with marketing schemes and an all-too-powerful media inception of what Valentine's should be?

Images like this make you think that it's the perfect Vday date - sunset, by the beach, walking hand-in-hand... 

Red roses - passion, desire, love - Uhm, not really. Just says your guy has the "affordances" to purchase an uber expensive bouquet. 

Amazingly, as someone who used to play for the other side (yes, I once celebrated media Vday too!), I always thought it was always on 'roids or something. I can't enter one store without seeing heart balloons or rose-candies and chocolates are at an all-time high! Scallops are at their most expensive and yes, even Rockafeller oysters (which I can eat everyday!) become exotic aphrodisiacs around February. TV commercials are sexier and people tend to wear more make-up around this month. I would roam around some clothing boutiques and red is back, while the LBD (little black dress) is glorified as the "ultimate date dress" by Cosmo, Preview and all those other magazines women like me tend to subscribe to. Now, it's just plain too much. 

Sexy black dress! Bam!

Not to mention that there are probably 20 or so people on my Facebook list that update their status almost hourly with how alone and how eff*d-up their Valentine's Day will, should or is. Did I mention 20? Let's go for 30. It seems like singledom is doomed whenever it's VDay, and I just want to remind everyone that it's not  about being with someone, it's about finding love. And no, love isn't simply what you do under the sheets with some guy (or gal), it's a feeling, a commitment. So you can love your family, your friends, your God, your iPod or what have you. 

Sometimes, love can be a vision of the future. It doesn't have to be with someone. 

There could be a million things that you can do for yourself, with or without anyone beside you. Sometimes, it's even easier to find things to "fall in love with" when you're not hung up on someone.

Also, think of Valentinus (I know, I know, I'm not Catholic and I shouldn't talk about Saints, but hey...), that saint was beatified (read: martyred) for one reason - he died for the belief that an afterlife is better than renouncing his faith. So in essence, he died for faith, not for love. And if you really think about it, VDay should be all about faith - faith in yourself, faith in mankind, faith that life only gets better (with or without anyone).

No photographers were harmed intellectually during the making of this post. All pictures were obtained legally from Stock Xchng. 

My acknowledgement to a good friend, who thinks Vday is overrated but doesn't bitch about it, runs marathons and likes hot chicks. (PM me if you're a lady and you're hot, I'll have him call you.) There's about 10 minutes left til VDay is over. Lolz!  

The One with the Anniversary

I took a quick hiatus from the world of online blogging the past few weeks to focus on something I needed to do for myself. In case you're wondering if it's part of my bucket list, I would say it's part of my happy list. While most people have been wondering about what to do for Valentine's Day and how to find the love they long to have, I have been busy finding time for all the crazy activities I wanted to have for this month.

I still have yet to read Outliers. I know I've had that since December and I still haven't managed to read it. I have been meaning to get a massage and I just choose to waste whatever free time I have on either TV or sleep. I have been wanting to try out several restaurants and yet all I actually do is settle with some fast food quick fix (and the McDonalds Twister Fries are AWESOME!!!) and finally, I have been wanting to do the "in" thing and run a marathon (hey, a fun run would do) and my treadmill hasn't seen the light of day. It's still occluded (read: buried) under my clothes.

So ever wonder why I'm always busy? I have this conference call, that issue to deal with, this director to please and this course to deploy. 

An email I sent out to my entire team. 

I turned one StarTek year old! 

I wanted to thank my team for making me feel like I'm home. I have set-out last year wanting so badly to belong (ergo, almost getting married) and now, I feel like I do. I have wonderful mentors, like my mean best friend James and my "Positive Polly" Candy and I have a corporate US boss that I love a lot. I have Ivan who doubles as my son and my best friend at work at the same time (primarily cos we work in partnership a lot with some admin tasks). I have great friends at work and a lot of perspective. My SMEs have been great. There's Dan, the director of Human Resources, whom I have come to love and enjoy the company of, cos he's just a lot of ideas in an hour's meeting. There's Kevin and Judy from Finance whom I think the world of. There's a lot of development going on and if I can ask for one thing, I'd ask for one thing only - a higher salary, lolz. 

The One with the Hiatus

Sometimes, when you share a lot of your life online, you tend to forget what that life is about. For someone as private as I am, sometimes, it's hard to find things that you can share.

In this digital age, you kind of need a few days to think through what you want to accomplish. Because there is so much happening in the world, you tend to think of the future casually and documentation becomes only a second priority in your life.

There's a stop sign somewhere when you need to breathe. 

That's what I realized while I was on blogging hiatus. I didn't really quite force myself. I did get busy for the last week, running errands, doing things that I wanted without thinking of how I am going to tell that story to people.

I was on sick leave last night too. I have been doing too much too soon and I just didn't realize how it would affect my daily cognitive functions - functions I value a lot in my work.

So yes, sometimes, believe it or not, it's okay to hit the stop button once in a while. Maybe when you hit start again, things will go faster, smoother and way, way more interesting.

Booting up in a couple of mins... System downloading... 

No photographers were harmed intellectually during the making of this post. All pictures were obtained legally and safely via Stock Xchng. 

The One with the Pet Peeves

I can't believe I have to write something like this in the blog. I love nothing more than just praising and raving about things but for crying out loud, sometimes, when people really get into your nerves, it's time to really say something.

1. Texting while walking or driving 

Look where you're about to walk, for cripe's sake! 

This goes without saying. If you're walking around the mall and you're texting, you're prolly more focused on that SMS you're sending than where you're going. Sometimes, people in the mall are actually rushing to get their grocery shopping done, so please, for the love of God, watch where you're walking.

If you're a driver without a soul and you tend to text while driving, please check your rearview mirror for people like me that just want to overtake you but because it's a narrow street, I can't. For the love of all that's holy, please find a way to communicate with you BF/GF/Dad/Mom/Boss/Friend/Friend with Benefits that doesn't involve you being a complete turd on the road. I hope you never get into a road accident because you just have to SMS someone.

2. Loud, loud, loud and lousy music blaring off your speakers in the middle of the night, aggravated by the fact that you sing along with a mic. 

If you look and sound like this chick, I can and will forgive you but otherwise... 

If you're my neighbor, please have the decency to let me sleep in on weekends. Sometimes, I find myself waking up a neighbor's rendition of "Till My Heartaches End" in their scratchy cigarette-husky voices. And please, if you're a mom and you're celebrating your son/daughter's birthday and thought of "renting" a videoke machine to mark the occasion, find a spot in the street where it's not like someone died in your family and you're hosting a funeral! For the love of all that's holy, keep it down, woman! Keep it down! (Is it obvious that I am talking about one specific person?! Well, I am and if you're reading this, good for you! Go fashion forward this season, Madame, and please, take your friends or kids' friends to Red Box where chicken wings won't get you all oily and sweaty and where we won't hear your rendition of "Papa Don't Preach" whilst you dance thinking you're part of the Glee gang!

3. If you're a cab driver - DO NOT HIT ON ME! 

Cabbies - fast and furious, most of them creeps, some of them nice and it makes me want a car more and more. 

I understand the sad plight of cab drivers all around the Metro. I don't push for a discount, I hardly just ever pay the exact meter and I am super nice. Sometimes, when I actually have food, I share my food with them cos I know how hard it is to be working for so long that you don't have time for a little snack. Because a lot of the time, I'm on the road and a lot of my appointments are very flexible in terms of time, I even allow them to refuel, load water and yes, even make the trip to the john while I'm on the passenger seat. Heck, I even ride on the passenger seat, cos I'm not a snob. I like conversations with cabbies.

Some of the cabbies I've spoken with talk about the weather, politics, sports, showbiz (local), a few are actually amazingly elite (There was the one that would talk about his iPhone, while I only have an E71... One was a former Manila Hotel concierge that was just doing a favor for a friend... One owned the cab he was driving - come on, who uses an Altis as a cab?! There was that one guy that was rushing to go to Starbucks after he dropped me off the office cos he was going to meet a friend. Another one was a Spanish teacher in Telus that only drove cabs so he can mingle with the unwashed masses... ack!). A few are just plain creepy!

I have experienced riding with cabbies that would ask for my name, my number, my age, tell me out of nowhere that I'm beautiful, tell me off-hand that real men please their women and would even go as far as give me the "look" (the look that tells you that they're not imagining you in an apron... or maybe they are, except that you're nekkid underneath). Because I work at night and I get dropped off a call centre, there was even one that said that his former GF was from a call centre and that maybe I can be picked up later. I mean come on, guys, not because a woman rides a cab ALONE means she is alone (this is technically true for me). Saturday afternoon cabbie was extremely creepy. Old man with the goatee and the golf hat decided to chat me up in the middle of the road and told me that I was pretty, and raved on and on about how "smooth" I was and that he guesses that I'm smooth and fair all over, and went on about how he hopes that they guy that waited for the cab with me (James, my mean best friend at work) isn't my BF. I chose to ignore "Manong Driver" the whole time and played with my phone instead. He kept saying that he's old but his knees are still strong (Matanda na ako pero malakas pa tuhod ko... in the vernacular). I'm like, OMG, I have to get off this cab! Thankfully, I was a few blocks away and I decided to just get off the street next to mine, where traffic was abound and people were up and about. Mind you, this was at 5PM in the afternoon!

If you're a cabbie and you really need money, creeping lady passengers isn't the way to do it. And if you're a cabbie and you're not there for the money but for something else, please, keep your thoughts and your eyes off me! I don't appreciate it!

4. If you're a commuter and you have a soul, please bathe, brush your teeth and be clean before riding a train or jeepney and please make sure that if you're not fresh-smelling anymore, that you have the decency to at least close your mouth or not wave your pits at me or anyone else. It's nauseating. 

Are these for sale, cos sometimes, I think I badly need one. 

I'm not preggers and I'm not going to be in the next 5 years or so (ack, see how well I've planned my life out?!) but for the love of God, whenever I alight from a public commuter train, the only thing I wanna do is hurl. One, there's just way too many passengers. Apart from the immeasurable number of people and the heat and the dirt coming off the A/C unit of the beat-up carriages, the smell of people really troubles me. I tolerate sweat just fine, but come on... if you forgot your Rexona earlier in the day, have the decency to keep your arms on your sides for the benefit of those that breathe the same air as the one stagnantly staying in your area. Also, if you haven't brushed for the day, try to buy some candy. They cost 50 cents a pop, and smelling mixed saliva and red cherry candy may be better than smelling some rotting cabbage off your mouth. I smoke a lot and I am not fresh all the time but I will have the decency to keep my pits to my arms instead of waving it around, and I will also not open my mouth so close to another human being, especially if that human being is not a friend!

5. If you're ordering coffee and there's a queue, please freakin' make up your mind before you're in the freakin' queue!!! Also, if you're a mom, please don't take your son/daughter with you to the smoking area of the coffee shop and give me stares when I light up! If you're an older woman who have had your experience in the world, please don't judge me because I like nicotine with my caffeine. If you see me light up a joint, that's the time you should raise your eyebrows at me, old-timer! 

Getting coffee used to be fun until everyone else wanted in on it. 

I have almost had it with people who can't get enough of themselves, their opinions and their newest designer coffee! Starbucks used to be fun before it became the next MiniStop or 7-11. Imagine being there to start your day and you have to fall in line next to a mom on her cellphone with her 5-year old son latched on to her leg, a guy that's obviously just there to scope out the scene, a couple PDA-ing (Read: Public Display of Affection) and 10,000 other call centre employees. Then check out this other scenario I encountered last time I went to meet up with a friend - an older woman in the counter of Starbucks and using her senior citizen discount card, to the bemusement and puzzlement of the baristas cos they prolly don't know how to deduct a certain percentage off the actual price of the coffee... and I'm the next one. My friend had to circle round the place cos he can't even park his car!

What's worse is when you actually sit in the smoking area of some of the biggest Starbucks around. I experienced a mom staring so angrily at me cos she had her daughter with her in the smoking area. I mean, mom, seriously, there's a reason why it's called a smoking area. I wasn't gonna light up but then her husband alighted from their car and started lighting up too. So, is it a woman thing? Like I'm supposed to understand that the only second-hand smoke you want you daughter to inhale is your husband's? Let me tell you one thing, sister, they're all pretty much cancerous, so if I were in your shoes, I would actually take my daughter and sit inside, where it's cozy and A/C'd and I would kick my imbecile husband for exposing me and my daughter to that cancerous vice! Second of which, I won't even bring my daughter to a Starbucks cos what the heck is she gonna drink? Apple Berry Juice Freeze?! Why give her a 100 peso designer drink when I can take her someplace that has healthy options for her like an actual fruit shake with yoghurt?! Don't even get me started on the desserts there cos it just ain't the family place you think it is.

Also, people, if you smoke and you wanna take grandpoppy and grandmommy or mum and pop with you to Starbucks, seat them where they don't smell cigarette smoke, please?! I mean come on... There's this older woman that kept making unnecessary noises when she was left seated in the balcony of a Timog Starbucks once cos she kept smelling smoke. She would roll her eyes when I light up. I mean come on, Madame... It's a smoking area. If you didn't notice that off the sign, please look around and know that while I may be the only woman lighting up, I'm not the only one lighting up. It's not Victorian England. Yes, I can drive, I can earn as much as a male counterpart, I can shoot a gun with one eye closed and yes, I can smoke cigarettes when I have my coffee. If I choose to die of lung cancer, it's by choice.

No photographers were harmed during the making of this post. 
All photos were obtained legally via Stock Xchnge. 

The One with the Prodigal Friends

We tend to categorize friends. I think it's a fair assessment to say that we have really close friends who know every little dirty secret we've ever had (from the fact that you used to collect Peter Andre CDs as a 12-year old freckle-faced girl and dancing to the tune of "Mysterious Girl" in the wee hours of the morning to the most recent guilt trip your momma/poppa/significant other/sibling/boss gave you cos of <insert random reason here>). Then you have work friends who don't really have a choice but to take your crap every day of their lives cos you're there and they need to deal with you. Then there's your breakfast or common lunch buddies on weekends who prolly live the same lifestyle as you (which for me means work, head home, check FB and Twitter, perhaps read some Wikipedia entries, play some games online and on random weekends, have a friend over for lunch or head off to the mall and get cracking on some long overdue shopping). Depending on your lifestyle, you can have churchmates, drinking dudes, gimmick entourage, an arsenal of gym buddies, your team of sports fanatics, online fans who follow you on every social networking site but you've never actually met, your own league of warrior princesses and princes for MMORPGs and in some extreme cases, even an FB (friends with benefits, or FuBu).

I have amazing friends and I won't trade trade them for anything in the world. But I had the opportunity to reconnect with someone I have not seen for almost a decade.

Meet Ajeet, my crazy, sarcastic and amazing friend from 10 years ago...

Hawt right? Girls, this guy's available. We can talk about the price if you PM me. Lolz! 

And we had an adventure. I think it's amazing how when you don't really think about anything, you tend to have a lot of fun.

I actually spent 8 hours hopping from one bar to another on a Sunday night! Well, technically, it's just 2 bars, hahaha! 

I'm really glad that I spent that Sunday with Ajeet. We had coffee in Breton and then moved to the Blue Room (where Jazz and old 80's songs were playing) and then off to a place called Silya.

Silya... looks like a house but not quite... 

For those unaware and unknowing of the Malate scope, they have the high-end bars and then they have the bars that look like houses, and this is where you get the cheapest beers and the most affordable eats. You can also have people performing like crazy.

This is the first time I ever sang in front of other people holding a mic. Imagine my surprise when my once very shy and slightly angsty friend started belting out his rendition of a Filipino love song!

I had a wonderful night and I really wouldn't trade it for anything else! Cheers to reconnecting!

All pictures were taken with a Sony DSC series cam. 
Ajeet himself is a blog author. Check out his rants and raves at Read This and Die. 

The One with the Thursday Trips

For a person hitting his/her 30s, sometimes, you face questions about your career, your marital status, your weight and your lifestyle. You rarely get questions about your faith, unless you're friends with devout and zealous church-goers. More often than not, people tend to ask you more about your earthly definition of happiness, truth and faith more than you're asked about your afterlife. 

Back then, I always thought that heaven is a system of earning brownies points. Do a good deed and keep it in a spiritual bank account, save it up and life with God and the angels would be a certainty. I think a lot of people have that same concept. We often think that there's a million ways to get to heaven and a lot less ways to get into hell. We always have a concept that God is loving and forgiving, so we try to do good, and be good. Now, I think I know better. 

People often go to church, but they're still trying to figure out their faith.

The one thing I often don't understand is how people from various sects and religions often criticize those that don't belong to their faith. People yoking with unbelievers is often unheard of in certain beliefs. It's an issue when it comes to marriage, jobs and for some people, even friends. 

With Jessie and Candy in this place we call "Liempuhan". 

Jessie, Candy and I go to this church called St. Jude in Manila. We either eat first, then we go to church, or we go to church first and eat. It's a combination of everything - reflections on the day, the week, the year, then a slightly spiritual experience that you tend to want after a long day.

Interior of the church, here for the novena. 

The church is so bright, with beautiful stained glass windows. 

More of the interior. 

Excellently executed altar. 

The last homily I heard from the parish priest was about lepers. Those lepers from the time of Christ have to leave their homes, their families and wear a sign that says to the world that they need to be feared and isolated. Sometimes, everyone feels like a leper. We sometimes tend to feel alone and that no one would be there to care for us. Sometimes, life is a bully and so are the people that surround us. 

I wonder if, on the flip side, those that tend to point their fingers ever wonder about being bullies themselves. I have had people telling me that what I do is wrong, that I'm evil and that I will go to hell. People tend to be self-righteous when they feel like they have done everything you just have to do. I have been a leper and I probably still am in those people's eyes. 

The other day, I had my brush with this type of bullying. A person knocked on the door and asked me if I wanted to be saved by God's power. I said my thanks and told him it's ok. He remained on the door and said "Kapatid, mas mainam kung makikinig ka sa totoong Diyos Ama, at wag maniniwala sa iba." <read: Sister, it's better if you listen to the real Heavenly Father and don't believe in others...>

I'm not a very "religious" person. I'm not self-righteous and I certainly welcome any type of faith. I have no right to tell anyone what kind of faith or belief they should be practicing. I'm just glad I live at a time and a place where you can practice what feels right. Everyone has their own beliefs and I'm glad I am keeping my own. 

Note: No photographers were harmed intellectually during the making of this post. Pictures that were not taken by **meg** were obtained legally from Stock Xchng. 

Candy is a blog author herself. Read riveting revelations about Candy on her blog.