The One with the Hesitant Hero

I am celebrating big time! I just finished the amazingly long, tiring and severely mind-numbing finals exam of my life. It was a looooong exam. I started at around 9, took a break at 12NN and then went back for another round of exam which I finished by around 5PM. It was 6 pages per exam. The first round was for Human Resources Management, then the next was for my major, Development Communication. 

I didn't look half as good as this lady did. Barista in Starbucks even asked me why I looked tired. 

In lieu of a Mojito, I finally realized that I didn't really need any kind of relaxation. I'm bored as heck and I just switched on my radio and decided to listen to really old songs (kids, look up Karen Carpenter, El DeBarge Jordan Hill and Tracy Chapman). Yes, way back when, Katy Perry and Selena Gomez didn't dominate the charts, it was these people that produced cool, calming music and I decided that it was too lazy a Sunday not to trip. 

If I only lived in the province, it's time for a nap under the tree. 

So while listening to Annie Lennox belt out her own rendition of "Whiter Shade of Pale", I realized I was not enjoying being idle today. I wanted to go out of the house, and watching TV today didn't really cut it for me. I was so rearing to just get my hands on something, anything to stop me from pacing around and smoking. 

In my finals, my professor asked us about a CNN Hero of the Year project proposal. The premise was that we were all in the running to become the CNN Hero of the Year. And we all had our thrusts, or specializations. Some people chose environmental causes, some thought of recycling... Mine was extending literacy access to Out-of-School Youths who want to finish school. This would in part increase lieracy percentage in the country, which means greater economic growth. Write a news story, a features story, an abstract, a radio script and draw a poster. It was such a tedious exam that it left my left and right hand with a cramp. (Did I ever tell you guys that I can draw with my left hand? Hahaha!) So anyhow, the news story was not easy. It was the first question and while I did some journalism work when I was younger, news just doesn't come easy for me. So it started with "CNN Hero of the Year awardee Meg..." and it felt so awkward writing the next few sentences. Not because I didn't know what to make of it but because it started with me being a hero. 

Would have been easier if I mutated into someone like Super Girl. 

And here I was, stuck with the thought. Who wants to step up to be a hero? It's so much work! It's so much responsibility! I was just happy being a normal Instructional Designer. I mean, who wants to save the world?  Seriously? I mean, if I ever mutated into someone with the ability to run as fast as lightning and can lift a ton without much effort, I would keep it to myself and not tell anyone. And being CNN Hero of the Year? Why? Can't I just enjoy my bubblegum pop lifestyle and not step up and be what I'm supposed to be? You always have to step up to make things more palatable for you and other people, but what if you don't want to, because it scares you or because it makes you feel like the most awkward person on earth? What if it's not who you think you should be and you think other people with better characters can be better at it than you? I'll leave this open for now, I don't want to summarily discuss what is on my mind. The only thing I know is that sometimes, stepping up is the scariest thing to do.

My photos on this entry from Stock Xchng, my leading provider of free online photos.